They say you spend your new year how you spend your New Year's ...

(Editor's Note: this is now the EX-BOYFRIEND)

This is the first year I will spend New Year’s Eve alone.

Wow, that sounds like an invitation to a pity party of ONE. But it’s not. With the boyfriend deployed and my daughter with her dad for school, I’ve made plans with a cheap bottle of wine, the sci-fi channel and waiting in front of my computer in case my guy gets to call on skype.

So, yeah, I guess that does sound pretty sad when I put it that way.

It’s not like I couldn’t do something, it’s just the peeps I want to be with aren’t here. They are places where I can only reach them via cyber-tele-skypic technology. The chance of that happening is worth giving up a night out in some packed club, wearing a dress I barely fit into, paying a ridiculous cover charge for a tinseled paper hat and plastic shot cup of cheap, sparkling champagne watching everyone scramble for their New Year’s kiss (and hope they don’t get mono – just sayin’).

There’s an old superstition that says you will spend your new year how you spend your New Year’s. Is it true? I don’t know. I’ve had some questionable New Year’s experiences. 

A few years ago, I was dating a guy that convinced me to go to a party at one of his friends’ houses out in the country somewhere. “It’s just a small get-together with some of my best friends, it’ll be fun.” The night ended with a very serious redneck style beatdown and a gunfight complete with cops and our hostess getting knocked out. I had to be ‘covered’ as we rushed to the car to leave. And I instantly became single the following day. Imagine if I had spent the rest of that year dodging bullets.

One year, I watched my date make out with another chick on the dance floor of a club. I actually did have similar situations happen to me the rest of that year … hmmmm. Then again, it begs to ask what kind of guys I was attracting at the time.

There were two years I partied like a rockstar with my girlfriends and found myself in clubs every other weekend for the rest of those years watching everyone get crunk. Fun times.

New Year’s with my daughter happened only twice in a few years with the visitation agreement. But even when I wasn’t with her, my years were always filled with quality time with my gal. That was a win.

Last year, I rang in the New Year with my guy. Even though the first six months were spent with him, the last six months and the next four months he’s in another country. The year before that, we spent New Year’s in separate states, but ended up spending more and more time together through the new year. Another win.

 So, I guess you can say the superstition is circumstantial.

It’s about partying it up at the hottest spot in town, dressed to the nines in some outfit that cost two paychecks. It’s about making sure you get that kiss at midnight. Some would say it’s about not spending it alone while others insist it’s about making the same resolutions they break every year. It’s whatever you make it.

And if I want to make mine about cheap wine and waiting by my electronic communication workstation while watching B-rated sci-fi movies on TV, then that’s going to be my party. Yes, I do realize that I’ll be spending the bulk of 2012 waiting … waiting for my guy to come home, waiting for my girl to come visit, waiting for Breaking Dawn part 2 and waiting for Dec. 12, 2012 to see what the Mayans really meant.

Like I said, it’s circumstantial.

Vehicular aggravation

Since I paid my Jetta off earlier this summer, it's slowly started to need work done. This weekend, one of the engine cylinders decided to misfire and now it's in the shop needing a tune up. I can't complain, it's lasted eight years without one and pushes 10,000 between oil changes.

I know, I should get the oil changed every 3,000 miles, but Google said I could go for 10 - no prob. I'm sure Google advice is why my car is in the shop.

Anyway, while my car is getting repaired, I'm driving the boyfriend's Xterra - and I'm grateful for that option. The only three issues I have with his vehicle are:

1. The seat does not slide up and my legs aren't long enough to reach the gas pedal.
2. The car doors do not lock unless the remote is nowhere near the vehicle.
3. Randomly and without warning unlocking the car will set off the alarm.

I've learned to deal with all except the car doors not locking. Since the remote needed to be no where near the vehicle, I decided to leave it at home and use the key to lock and unlock the doors so that I knew it would stay locked and bad guys wouldn't sneak in the car and ambush me after dark like in the movies.

In theory this should have worked.

Well, today was the magical day that the alarm on the car decided to set itself off when I unlocked the door with the key - in the parking lot at work. I could not get it to shut off by putting the key in the ignition, locking and unlocking the door or by yelling random swear words and promising to punch it in the grill.

So there I was sitting in the driver's seat, flipping through the front of the owner's manual and in big, bold letters it states:
"Car alarm can only be deactivated by pressing the deactivate alarm button on REMOTE."

The remote that I left at home so the car would stay locked. Seriously, what company doesn't make a plan B for situations like this? Nissan. That's who.

After about what seemed like, oh, I don't know -FOREVER, the alarm finally shut itself off. I decided to let myself out of the car and planned on asking my friend for a ride home to get the remote. The minute I opened the door, the I set off the alarm again.

Really. There had to be a way to bypass this. And there was.

In the very back of the manual, the first place anyone would look, it stated that the alternative to using the remote to deactivate the alarm was to unlock the car from the passenger side door. It worked.

Guess I won't be leaving the remote home anymore. Thank you Nissan, for making things aggravatingly difficult.

What's your excuse?

Who has two thumbs and dislikes working out?

This girl. 

But I set a goal earlier this year to get into shape and I stuck to it.

The new year is fast approaching as well as everyone’s New Year’s resolutions – of which more than 98 percent of the population will be vowing to shed weight and get in shape. Almost more than half that number will start and give up and the rest will procrastinate until the following year, collecting extra pounds along the way to add to their resolutions. Then, before you know it, a few extra pounds have turned into more than seems possible to lose – which will depress and de-motivate even the best of us.

Well, I don’t believe in making empty promises to myself on a holiday. That’s like making a wish on your birthday candles and hoping it will come true. After so many of them, I still haven’t grown boobs, gotten taller or won the lottery. When I decided to finally work on my fitness, I just did it. It wasn’t easy, but wishing on birthdays, waiting for New Year’s to make a better me and praying everyone else fatter than me wasn’t working. So, I had to get to work.

Before I started, I had to realize a few things:

1. If I really wanted it, I would make time for it
2. Yes, I do have time in my day
3. There are no excuses
4. I wish people in workout videos looked like normal people I could identify with and not jacked superheroes (which has nothing to do with anything, just an observation)
5. I’m ready to start

Step one: Set your goal, be realistic

My goal was to look good for the boyfriend’s redeployment in a year. I wanted to have more defined arms, tone legs and butt; not necessarily lose weight. I also wanted to be able to take the stairs and not sound like I’m having an asthma attack when I get to the top.

Step two: Start small, be smart

I don’t like to work out because I get bored and with routine. I don’t have a lot of free time where I’m not sleeping or finding domestic chores to turn into procrastination techniques.  So, I started with Fit TV on demand, chose a series of three 10-minute workouts and did them in my living room. Abs, arms, legs, butt, and some type of cardio. Everyone has at least ten minutes a day - EVERYONE. No, I didn’t do all three everyday, those were the areas I wanted to work on, so I did one a day. It was a good start for me, but I knew I wasn’t going to see results at just ten minutes a day. I don’t care what workout program you use or what nifty fitness gadget you bought that says in just minutes a day, you can whittle your waistline and get rid of unwanted cellulite, it’s not going to happen. But you start small and work your way up. For me it was about getting used to allotting the time to work out.

Step three: “Next level” your workouts

It was time to challenge my body after a few weeks. I don’t like routine and neither will you – so add more minutes to your workout. After about a month of working up to 30 – 40 minute workouts in front of my television, I hit a plateau. I knew I was going to have to do something different to keep seeing results. So, I incorporated weight training and Crossfit into my daily workouts … and running. It’s hard work. That means more time allotted to working out per day. To be honest, most days I would rather slam both of my thumbs into a car door than workout; but once I started seeing my body transform, I was motivated to push myself harder and set new goals.

Step four: Re-evaluate your goals

When I started working out, it was so I would look awesome for the boyfriend’s return. But, a year is a long time for me to get up at 4am every morning to get to the gym - just for the man. Because, let’s face it, after the initial ‘wow,’ what else is there? So, I adopted a non-routine that motivates me to maintain the hard work I’ve put into my body and set new personal goals. What’s my goal now? To maintain a healthy and fit lifestyle. And look good in the clothes I own so I don’t have to spend money fitting a fluctuating ass size.

Step five: Don’t give up

The first few weeks were the hardest for me. Getting started and committing wasn’t easy. In a society where we all want instant gratification, not seeing immediate results can be almost demotivating – how can it be so hard to lose all the pounds that were so easy to pack on? It’s easy to want to give up after a few weeks when you see you’ve only lost a pound or two. Then you go to put on your pants one day and see there’s room where there wasn’t any before … it’s an awesome feeling. Commitment to your goal and discipline will pay off, but understand it will take time. 

Step five and a half: Eat smart

I retired from dieting a long time ago. I started eating smart instead. That meant subbing healthy foods in place of cupcakes, Pringles, frosting, Coke and pizza - staples in my diet. I started drinking more water. Diet sodas are just as bad for you as regular sodas, so don’t play games with yourself because the can says zero calories. Giving up pop was like coming off crack for me, but I did it and so can you. You have to realize that you won’t lose weight just by working out, especially if you’re still stuffing your face with fast food and other junk. It doesn’t mean you can’t eat that slice of cheesecake, drink an occasional soda or indulge in a "cheat" meal every now and then. Just moderate your intake. You have to eat, though, and make sure you are getting all your nutrients even if it means taking a multi-vitamin. A word of caution:  combining exercise with an eating disorder will probably kill you, so don’t do that because you want to see immediate results – it’s counterproductive. You can’t flaunt anything in a coffin. FYI.

It’s taken me a long time to get where I am today, and I came from weighing almost 200 pounds 13 years ago. It didn’t take me 13 years to lose the weight; it just took me that long to learn how to do it right. I’m proof that normal people can achieve personal fitness goals if they commit and work hard. So, stop making excuses and waiting for the New Year; start making progress - now. Kids, work and life are obstacles you put in your way to excuse a lack of motivation. I know, I’m a self-proclaimed queen of procrastination. Set your goal and work towards it. If my lazy ass can do it, you know you can.

PS: Thank you, Rachel and Erin, my workout buddies. Never mind that you're both genetically gifted, athletic individuals, it's still motivating to have a 5 a.m. suicide buddy and a 5K partner.

Disclaimer: Some excellent resources for working out: FitTv, Bodyrocktv.com, your local gym and crossfit box, and Fighter Diet on Facebook featuring Pauline Nordine of the Butt Bible workout. As with any workout or diet program, you want to consult with your physician first. My results are probably not typical and could be said to be under the average, but then, I’m not an athlete. Good luck.