I find myself having conversations about relationships all
the time with my friends, and even strangers. We shouldn’t feel validated or
defined by the quality of our relationships or lack of being able to procure a
good one with the person we want to be with, but almost all of us feel that
way.
When we are in a relationship, our confidence is elevated. We feel good, perform better at everything and are happier. I get it.
When we are in a relationship, our confidence is elevated. We feel good, perform better at everything and are happier. I get it.
We all have an idea of who we want to end up with but with
every failure, our standards drop until we’re literally ‘bottom-feeding’ at
local meat market spots during the weekly sausage-fests, hoping to catch a sliver of the guy or girl we dream
about finding one day. We make exceptions – but no one is the exception –
because generally, if it wasn’t meant to be, then it won’t work no matter how
hard you try to make someone fit in your life.
Movies like “He’s Just Not That Into You,” “Valentine’s Day”
and “Friends with Benefits,” while funny, romantic and possessing some truth,
give people false hope. I’m not saying FWB relationships can’t turn into
something more, or that the girl or guy who tries hard enough can’t win their crush over,
but most of the time those are relationships of circumstance. Sometimes, you’re
convenient or the last one standing.
The biggest complaint among girls is, “Why can’t I find a
good man? Why do they turn out to be douchebags?”
Well, I think that the term douchebag gets thrown around a
lot and some of those guys don’t really deserve it. Never thought you’d hear me
say that, did you?
There are a few reasons guys get labeled douchebags:
Girl gets dumped before she’s ready to let go of the guy.
He used the girl for sex.
He made her think he wanted a relationship.
Just stops calling and texting.
Cheated.
Most of his wardrobe consists of Affliction, Tapout, tank tops, salmon colored shorts and boat shoes.
1. With the exception of No. 5, none of those are valid reasons
to label a guy a douche. And, as much as it pains me to admit this, just
because the guy dresses in douche-labeled brands, it doesn’t make him a
douchebag. I have a few guy friends and a brother who wear those brands and they are not tools.
2. Girls, if you wait to have sex with a guy until you are sure
things are going somewhere, maybe they won’t feel like they can use you for
sex.
3. Also, let’s face it, no one can make you think whatever you started is heading for a serious relationship. If you listen, he probably said a lot of things to clue you into his general feelings about relationships – mainly whether he wants one or not. Most guys will tell you straight up if they want one or not or if they are open to seeing how things end up. Just ask.
3. Also, let’s face it, no one can make you think whatever you started is heading for a serious relationship. If you listen, he probably said a lot of things to clue you into his general feelings about relationships – mainly whether he wants one or not. Most guys will tell you straight up if they want one or not or if they are open to seeing how things end up. Just ask.
And it goes both ways: men, ladies aren’t bitches and whores
because they put out too soon, break up with you to date someone else or dress
like the girls at the gentlemen’s club – but I admit perception is reality in
our society and we constantly judge based on the majority or from experience.
Guys want to know "why do girls want dbags?"
Well, you didn't act like a douchebag when we met you. No guy is and
even if his reputation precedes the initial meeting, guys have a way of
charming the panties off a girl. Literally. So, we form our own opinion and,
generally, it’s a good one so we stick around long enough that by the time you
turn into douches, we can’t rationalize through our feelings and think if we
stick it out long enough, things will get better.
No one said we were smart.
If a guy or girl breaks up with you, fair and square,
regardless of whether they told you they are going to love you forever and EVER
the day before, you have to appreciate that they respect you enough to actually
end it before moving on – and not just 12-stepping the relationship down.
Slowly steps down calling/texting
Not hanging out as much
Withdrawing affection - no more making out like bandits
No longer invites you to friend functions/outings
No more compliments
No more pet names
Doesn’t make future plans
Finds arguments where there are none
Does not do what they say they will do
Does not return calls/texts
MIA for days at a time
Drops off the face of the earth
Guys and girls both blame past relationships for their
current behavior and that’s bulls***.
One, two or ten people cheated on you or treated you like dirt. You didn’t
like how that felt, so why would you do it to someone else? And why would you
let that keep you from giving someone a chance that might actually turn out to
be something good for you? No one deserves to be douchebagged.
Except the douchebag or douchebaguette who cheated on you.