Wonder Woman Wednesday

In honor of Wonder Woman Wednesday: 

Taken right after I realized that I was experiencing a wardrobe malfunction.
You can see my arms trying to keep a grip on my armor. Good times. 

So, this past Saturday, I did a thing.

I took my daughter to Animazement in Raleigh and cosplayed Wonder Woman.  

That’s right. I wore a costume to an event outside of Halloween.

Even though I wasn’t the only adult in costume, I would wager that I was the only one who had no f*king clue what I was doing. I felt like a noob. I mean, technically I was a noob, but I also LOOKED like a noob. And after a few hours of the cosplay life, I definitely gained a newfound appreciation for the art. Yes, it’s an art. Not just because most cosplayers make their own costumes, but they also get into their ‘character’ on demand.

You’d think I would already know this from my kid doing this every year, but I’m usually the one standing off to the side like a ‘dance mom’ miming poses for her to do while I’m holding my bag, her phone, drinks and any swag we pick up or purchase. But I digress ...

For me, showing up and walking around in costume was the easy part. But I wasn’t ready for people to ask to take photos of and with me. For some reason I thought that I’d still just be bodyguarding my kid – who was dressed up as Sailor Pluto – as people asked to photograph her like every other year. Except this year I’d be in costume.

Carrying around a plastic sword and shield.

Getting flagged down on the way out.
My daughter took this pic of me while
I was 'posing' carefully for someone else.

However, that was not the case. We weren’t there a few minutes before the photo requests started. At first, they just wanted pictures of my daughter. But then, I got my first one. Like a deer in headlights, I stood there for what seemed like the longest minute while the person taking the photo just waited.

What were they waiting fo - oh.

They wanted me to pose … as if I WAS actually Wonder Woman.  Put on a show. Look bad ass. In my bad ass costume.

I wasn’t ready for all of that …

Before I continue, let me tell you about my bad ass costume. It was/is spectacular. I had it custom made to fit my measurements by a guy I found on Instagram who does amazingly detailed work. It looks exactly like the new movie costume – except with a lace up corset back. Putting it on, I thought it would be smart to wear spanx and support hose to slim my curves and to perhaps even help the costume go on more smoothly. I literally packed myself in like a sausage. From the boobs down, nothing was jiggling or moving. I didn't need to wear Spanx, it just made me feel more secure in the costume.

With that in mind, I felt like I could strike almost any pose and I would not have to worry about any part of my body poking out. And I did! With each photo op, I got more and more brave - pulling my arm back, reaching for my sword, standing like a boss warrior babe. People seemed to dig it.

In my mind, I was straight FIRE. But reality caught up with me a little late into the day and boy was that ever so humbling … and humiliating.

See, I wanted photos of me and my daughter together before she took her costume off, so we went to one of the photo stations. We took a few together and then I had her take some individuals. As I was getting into my first ‘hero’ pose, the photographer stopped me immediately and rearranged my body, explaining, “To keep your side boob from showing.”

Um, first of all, I didn’t have side-boob showing when I initially put the costume on.

Y’all, my costume had slipped down a bit sometime during the day and all the curves I had shoehorned into my shapewear started to squeeze out the top like a push pop. And it wasn’t side boob - it was my curves slowly expanding out like a busted can of biscuits under my arms and around my back.

#dead

I was (and still am) slightly mortified, wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, and I’ve been

The only photo I found of me on IG. 

frantically checking Instagram to see if any of those photos have been posted (I’ve found only one and thankfully it shows nothing). I couldn’t even pull it back up without undoing the corset back because it was so hot in the convention center and I had sweat a small river inside the armour causing it to suction to my body.

So, I just clamped my arms down on the sides hoping that would help. But at that point, I just gave up - whatever was going to happen could not be worse than what had already happened.

Through that, I still had a great time at the con with my daughter. She was – like always – my biggest cheerleader. I also love my costume and plan on wearing it again – without the spanx and maybe do a little research on posing.

Wonder Woman has been my favorite since I was a kid. I loved the TV show, comics and I enjoyed the new movie(s). But I never wanted to be either version of Wonder Woman. I just wanted to be a Wonder Woman. It only took me 40 years but I actually got to be me - Dawn Elizabeth - as Wonder Woman.

And my daughter finally got me to cosplay to one of her conventions.

#winwin

Until next time - ciao!

Costume by @JEFX - check out his page on IG or visit his website: www.jasonevansfx.com.

To abort or not to abort – is it a human right?

The better question is, isn't it a human right to be allowed to LIVE?

Before I continue, I should say that I am pro-life for me and pro-choice for everyone who feels they need that option. But I'm not dumb and I realize the contradiction in values and the moral implications of abortion.

Recently, Alabama’s abortion bill has set fire to my timeline on social media. As a woman, I should be upset. This violates my right to choose what I do with my body, right? I should be able to terminate a pregnancy that I do not want to carry to term. It’s my prerogative and no man – or woman – should be able to control what I do with my body.

Right? Maybe. But, I’m not really upset because I think in my heart, I know it's wrong to fight to be able to kill an unborn child who didn't ask to be conceived and who doesn't get to make the choice to live or die because it is a body living inside my body.

However, something else is happening that is cause for outrage and I will get to that later.

I don’t talk much about it, but I’ve had two abortions in my life – both around 5 weeks gestation. I remember both vividly and while I do not regret either one, I am not proud of them. Because those were selfish choices I made on behalf of a baby that did not ask to be conceived. I was irresponsible and that fetus paid the price for my actions. During my second one, I was in my 30s and chose not to get anesthesia – I wanted to feel the consequences of my action. I don’t recommend it.

But, still, I am pro-choice.

I may not choose abortion for myself again, but it is still a choice. And now there are some states taking that choice away from girls/women (even in instances of rape/incest which I do not agree with at all), but I can understand that as I am pro-life as well. When I talk to my daughter, I let her know that if that’s an option she feels is necessary, I won’t judge her for it, but that I would hope she would choose life. Because a fetus is a human and a human has a right to life, right? Even in the case of rape/incest, a fetus is still a life. But since it wouldn’t be her choice to get pregnant in that circumstance, why should it not be her choice on whether to have the baby or not?

But regardless of circumstance, it should still be HER choice.

Abortion, morally, is wrong. I can agree and accept that. As a society, we’ve dehumanized infants at the point of conception until birth because that makes choosing death for them an easier choice, one without guilt. I’m proof. I do not feel guilt or regret over my decisions and I’m not proud of that fact. What kind of person doesn’t feel anything over exterminating a life before it has a chance to be born? There's no justification except selfishness (except in cases of rape/incest).

The same kind of person who is more concerned with baby animal rights and the rights of every living creature on earth except baby humans who have not been allowed to grow and be brought into the world - regardless of the reason of pregnancy. I see a lot of posts and articles about the horrific crimes done to animals who can’t protect themselves but, in my mind, wouldn’t a fetus also be in the same category of not being able to defend itself? Or is it intent of the mother to keep or abort that dictates how we feel about baby humans versus baby animals?

Yes. And no. Or maybe …

It’s because we don’t consider a fetus a human at all until after birth. And that, folks, is social engineering and conditioning at its finest. That is a contradiction in morals and values that has been indoctrinated over decades through all forms of media and institution to desensitize us to things that we should have strong moral objections about. My own experience is proof of that as well as the evolution on what we now tolerate as acceptable actions and behavior in comparison to 30-40 years ago. But I digress.

If people can champion the ‘rights’ of unborn and baby animals – basically all animals - because they can’t protect themselves, but not the ‘rights’ of unborn and baby humans who also can’t protect themselves, what does that say about humanity?

Nothing really good. And yet, even knowing this, I am still pro-choice for those who feel that is the only option.

What people should really be concerned about – what I feel is a real ‘right’ or necessary ‘privilege’ that may be taken away (if it’s true) – is now there are politicians targeting to regulate or even limit  access to affordable birth control pills under the reason that it is ‘pre-abortion.’

Which is utter bullshit and outrageous.

There is no better way to prevent an abortion than to prevent a pregnancy. That, folks, is where your outrage should be. Men – and women – are trying to limit a woman’s choice to prevent unwanted pregnancy by taking away the option for birth control – according to the latest headlines. I’ve yet to fact check it, but if this is even remotely true, it's wrong.

THAT is waging war on women’s reproductive rights or privileges -however you want to classify it.

Think this is a 24 week old 'fetus' born
premature. I struggled with including
this as an illustration, but I feel like
people should be aware of what they
are choosing and for whom.

Taking away a woman’s privilege to terminate her pregnancy is not a war on women’s bodies. It’s a movement to ‘save the babies.’ I might not agree with it, but I can understand the morals behind it. But taking away a woman’s privilege to use any means necessary to prevent a pregnancy – and then limiting or banning the privilege to abortion in the event of an unwanted pregnancy because she was not allowed to prevent it in the first place – is controlling women’s reproductive choices when it isn’t necessary.

You won’t change my mind.

Forcing women to give birth to unwanted children, thinking they might choose to adopt them out or take one look at that sweet face and fall in love … is a fairy tale. Forcing women to give birth to a child they don’t want fosters resentment and it’s often taken out on the child if they choose to keep him/her rather than adopt out. So when that politician said, “kill ‘em now or kill ‘em later” – he wasn’t lying. It was cruel, blunt truth and not because that child will become a criminal as he tried to say. It’s because there’s a chance that child will be mistreated, abused and even killed before he or she reaches adulthood.

And at least he’s admitting that abortion is, indeed, killing a child. THAT was an unintentional step in the right direction.

If we want to reduce the abortion rate, we need to educate. And not in the “if you don't want to get knocked up, don't have unprotected sex” sense. Start teaching young girls and women to make smarter choices for themselves and their bodies. Explain to them that they become mothers from the point of conception - they are not expecting a child, they HAVE a child. They are not getting ready to ‘be a mom,’ they are already a mom.

To change the way people think about abortion, you need to change the way they think of conception and pregnancy.

Teach them the consequences of being irresponsible with their bodies. Make them respect their bodies and not be so frivolous with them. Show them the fetus at every milestone of gestation so that they understand when they make the decision to abort, that it is a life they are exterminating, not just a ‘clump of cells.’

And if they get pregnant, let them make their own decisions – because when you properly raise and educate your kids, you will be surprised to know they don’t make these decisions lightly - for either choice they make.

As a mother, if my daughter didn’t know any of this, I would say that I’ve failed her as a mom. It is not the government’s or the education system’s job to teach my kid about life, sex and babies. I don’t feel that it should be a government decision to regulate a service like abortion or birth control, much like I opposed the ACA for the same reasons – keep the government out of my healthcare decisions. Although, as a side note, I also do not think the government should subsidize abortions with tax-payer dollars.

And anyone who feels that regulating abortion and birth control is okay, but oppose the ACA needs to admit that they are contradicting themselves. Because you can’t tell everyone that it’s wrong for the government to control healthcare for everyone because we should all have a choice in our own healthcare decisions, but that it’s okay for the government (local or federal) to control the access to birth control - which in my opinion is a healthcare decision that could potentially eliminate the need/want for abortions. One form of government control is not better than another even if you disguise it as a moral issue.

Whether you are pro-choice or pro-life, you’re both right as long as you understand that – morally – abortion is exterminating a HUMAN life. But also know that we have been conditioned to gradually tolerate the unthinkable until we eventually celebrate it.

Killing an unborn child is nothing to celebrate, remember that; but neither is forcing a woman to bring an unwanted child into the world to potentially be mistreated and abused because she didn’t choose to give the child up for adoption (another system that is flawed). It’s a Catch 22.

And even still, I am pro-choice for all the women who feel they need to have that as a backup plan.

My vote is to keep the government and everyone else out of our personal decisions – including healthcare, abortion and birth control.

PS: I can see everyone frantically Googling to Fact Check anything I am saying right now, so let me stop you from making the unnecessary expenditure of energy by clarifying that this is MY OPINION and nothing more. You are free to feel and think as you wish. If I'm wrong about the birth control issue, I'm sure that I'll see it in the news or scrolling across my newsfeed one day.

I don't feel that they do most abortions like this nowadays,
but for context, this is a D&E just after the 1st trimester
and you can clearly see that is a baby & not a clump
of cells.