An open letter to the writers of Episode Bull**** of Supernatural (Episode 15 of Season 10)

Even though the beefcakes don't look like they shower. 

Dear writers of Supernatural,

Let me start by saying I’m not often moved to write a letter to a television show - except for that one time they canceled Firefly (like, wtf); well, and then there was the incident with Veritas Quest (except now that I saw the entire first season on YouTube, I get it); also, when I made it through all the seasons of Kyle XY on 

Netflix only to have my soul crash into the cliffhanger of an abrupt series cancellation – there was no closure!! Who does that?!

Okay, so maybe I’m moved a lot, but none of those letters made it to my blog. I digress.

It all started with the preview of episode 15 of season 10 – the Winchesters were ‘called’ to investigate a case involving a Fort Bragg Soldier in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

HOW EXCITING I LIVE IN FAYETTEVILLE HOME OF THE AIRBORNE AND SPECIAL

OPERATIONS FORT BRAGG NORTH CAROLINA! OMG THEY FILMED AN EPISODE OF SUPERNATURAL HERE! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN AND HOW DID I MISS AN ENTIRE FILM CREW? WHY DIDN'T THE LOCAL NEWS COVER IT? WHY?! WHAT. IS. MY. LIFE?! GAH.

Maybe I might be slightly over-exaggerating my excitement … a little. I definitely don't use words like 'gah.'

Seriously, how did even the local celebrities miss the news that a television show was in town? Wouldn’t they want to broadcast it on their Facebook, Twitter and Insta-feeds? I mean, c'mon, we’re talking about people who know Chris Brown is in town BEFORE he knows he will be here.

And yet, Supernatural came and went in silence.

I sat down to watch the episode with my daughter; both of us were anxious and excited to see our town on

the small screen – appearing in our fave show. Ok, so it’s not our favorite show, but it’s one of two we watch together for mommy daughter time – and I remember Jensen Ackles from Days of Our Lives and it’s slightly nostalgic.

So, there we were, at the beginning of the episode – excited - watching the opening scenes blurrily pan through a rainy downtown “Fayetteville, NC” to settle on the “Fayetteville Municipal Hall.”

Wait. What? We don’t have a municipal building. And that's not our downtown ... 

Our (my) excitement was soon replaced with confusion. We did not recognize a damn thing. And I soon realized why no one blasted the news on any channels – social media or television.

SUPERNATURAL WAS NEVER HERE.

Accurate representation of my reaction.

Not that I don’t realize the show is fake and only supposed to be entertaining; however, I expect that when you pick a REAL city in the United States, if you can’t film there - or make an alternate dimension storyline to support a town that exists but not as we know it - you might research to make it look either as authentic or as vague as possible. And by vague, I don’t mean try to move quickly through an opening scene hoping the real locals tuning in to see their town repped on a popular show with two hot guys investigating the supernatural (see what I did there?) won’t realize it’s not. actually. their. city.

Especially a MILITARY CITY THAT IS AS BIG AS OURS. For the love of all that's holy, we're in the news!!

You can’t just pick a studio set or small town in Canada somewhere and sprinkle it with military people in uniforms and put up signs and call it Fayetteville/Fort Bragg. You even got our law enforcement patches WRONG. Although, to be fair, I did some design work with the FPD patch in the past, so that might make me the only person on planet Earth that would know that – even in my city – save actual law enforcement officers and those who have had a brush or two or few with the law. But, again, I digress.

Anyway, what you guys failed to realize is that you very subtly if not intentionally, insulted the intelligence of every person watching the show who lives in Fayetteville or on Fort Bragg. Like we wouldn't know or care that our city was misrepresented. Yes, we are a city. If you’re not sure, just ask any of the number of your Canadian ‘brothers’ that play hockey on our local Hockey team.

Am I over-reacting? Maybe. But, I’m not really upset as much as disappointed. Barring the fact that the location was royally and obviously fudged, the episode storyline was also probably not as good as it could have been. It was pretty lame. I think y’all knew that - as tight as you were with how many players were in the episode and little detail in character or location development.

Cole as a kid, just a few years ago.

Kind of like when people like to throw in the token African American or LGBT friend in a show/movie to appeal to a wider demographic … it definitely felt like y’all were trying to cover the military front. Even

though you already did that with Cole Trenton, who followed the Winchesters because they killed his father who was killing people to eat their livers (ew). Never mind the fact that even though Cole was, like 10 years old only a few seasons ago when his dad died, he now looked the same age as the Winchesters; so, chronologically, that was weird unless his supernatural power is aging fast.

Cole as an adult, now.

I know, I know. This is all pretend; which is why I forgave the latter. But when you take pretend and say it’s real – like the location of episode bull*** being in FAYETTEVILLE/FORT BRAGG, NC – that’s where I take issue. And I’m not the only one who noticed although I’m probably the only one who decided to care.

And yes, I am fully aware that this is a bit dramatic (note the title of my blog).

Dean and Sam, every season. 

If you made it this far, I’d like to close with some free advice: if you’re not going to actually go to a real town, just make one up. It’s not like anyone is going to look it up on the map. They might Google it. But if you need material for your show, Fort Bragg isn’t the only way you can go in North Carolina. There’s a s*** ton of haunted places here you can rip for the show that have a more obscure location that’s easier to fake. Like, the hundred of miles of countryside that hide all those wrong turns that inspire every single horror movie.

You’re welcome.

Signed,

Potential future cat lady with enough free time on her hands to write an open letter to a television show, and who was in two movies so if you need an actress who can’t act, but looks decent on screen, call me, thank you.

Aka: Chick Norris

PS: All photos are copyrighted by Warner Bros. I lifted these off the Internet to use in illustrating this piece. 

Breaking up is hard no matter what end you are on

Don't look for a reason that isn't there. Sometimes
The simple one is the only one.

So, I had every intention of blogging about that one time I accidentally wore my thong backwards to the gym. Never mind how it happened. But every time I sat down to write, my mind wandered off to a conversation I had with a friend of mine about relationships – mostly mine.

Specifically, the break-up of the first relationship I've been in since the last one ended two years ago. Well, the first one I knew had a chance to go anywhere.

I often wonder why I turned to blogging about the end of a relationship when the more lucrative route would be to write songs like Taylor Swift. But I digress.

My previous ex boyfriend and I were together for a few years that were peppered with temporary breakups. Those were almost always initiated by him to facilitate his wandering penis, and suffered by me venting through blogging, crying and an embarrassing amount of Keith Urban.

Yes, Keith Urban, don’t judge me.

Every time we got back together, a little bit of the wonder and excitement of who we once were was gone, until the end, when I made the final break. I didn’t cry or wallow in a self-pity party singing Keith Urban songs into a gallon bucket of Hagen Daas. Emotionally (and financially) I was ready to be done with that chapter of my life.

I didn't think I’d ever meet anyone I wanted to date seriously after that, because the roller coaster of that relationship left me feeling jaded and unsure that I'd be able to trust anyone again.

However, I have to concede the one thing that was great about that particular ex was the space he gave me when I wanted it; never mind that he needed that space to cheat.  If I could have that, but without the infidelity … But, again, I digress.

So, two years and a few casual encounters later, I finally met a GREAT guy. Like, so great. He’s caring, funny, good looking and has tunnel vision when it comes to me – faults, phat and all.

And I broke up with him.

No, I don’t regret it. When I made the decision, I knew it was the right one – for both of us. And the only reason was that I didn't feel as much for him as he felt for me after the few months we had spent together and I don't know why I didn't. It wasn't fair to him – or me – to keep going and hope something changed. He deserves more and so do I.

Don't try to make a reason
that's not there.

But, he needed a reason that made sense to him. How does one fall out of like/love with someone for no reason? And as we talked, I found myself trying to find things he could accept. He was looking for faults he can change to make things right. But it wasn't that simple.

When someone is done with a relationship on an intimate level, just the act of having to go through the motions is irritating. All the things you once thought were cute or able to deal with suddenly become points that grind on your nerves and you become someone you won’t like to a person who doesn't deserve it. It's your subconscious telling you something is up.

  

And maybe those factors contributed to losing that loving feeling, but ultimately, not having reciprocal feelings is the bottom line. We all want tangible causes we can understand, but all that does is bring someone down for being themselves.  I mean, those quirks probably attracted us to them in the beginning. But when things are ending, they can become the catalyst for a break-up.

I've been on both sides of the break-up, although it’s been a long time since I've been on this side. I have hurt and have been hurt (blogs upon blogs upon status updates of those, btw), and it never gets easier. It doesn't matter the length of time you are together, in the end, there is no obligation for anyone to stay with you forever. THAT was a hard lesson and pill to for me to swallow all those times I was being dumped on the side of the proverbial highway of love.

Like, it’s really hard to deal with someone not wanting you anymore. You DO look for reasons so you can not only have closure, but also have something to blame other than someone fell out of love with you just because you are you - never mind that it has nothing to do with you ... But then you open up a whole other can of worms that effect your self-esteem and worth. So, the only closure you need is what you make for yourself when you finally realize it’s NOT you, it IS them. 

And if they suggest staying friends, just know that it won't work at first, if ever, because of your feelings. It's like having your dog that you love so much die and trying to keep it. 

In the end, you want that person who broke your heart to suffer as much as you – like, somehow, that would be a fit homage to the time you spent together. I get it, no one wants to see the other move on first. And we do suffer, because – and allow me to be a little dramatic here – the agony of breaking someone’s heart is real for those of us who genuinely care, and it stays with us for a while.

Yes, I second-guessed what I was feeling in the weeks leading up to my decision and sometimes even now. What reasons could I give for staying if I didn’t share the same feelings? Only selfish ones like:

1)   What if I’m just not ready right now, but later on I could be but someone else might snatch him right up?

2)   What if this is my last shot at a relationship with a great guy? I’m not getting any younger, right?  

3)   How many cats will be my penance? Is it, like, one per every year of my life? Is a lifetime supply of Benadryl covered by my insurance?

Ultimately, those are petty reasons to delay the inevitable and we all will move past it to either newer and better or, if the stars align and Cupid is generous, a second chance if and when the time and circumstance is right. Although, in my experience, the second chance is always friendship and never anything more because once you break someone's heart, you don't forget it and neither do they. It kinda hangs over everything like a storm waiting to happen.

If you’re the one getting dumped, and someone did it the right way, instead of the fade away, you are fortunate. It shows they not only genuinely care about you and the relationship, but they respect you as a person. Anyone who sends a text or an email, or just disappears, is not worth the heartache, remember that. You might think things will never get better after a broken heart, but they will. I promise, because I've been there.

Several times. 

By the way, if you need a song to help release the heartbreak or the agony, “Tonight I Wanna Cry” by Keith Urban is the business. Listen, sob, repeat  - until you feel nothing when it comes on but the unmistakable urge to puke.

You’re welcome.