What is a role model?
A role model is defined as a person with “a clear sense of what is
important to him/her, putting forth the effort to improve and create things
that will make a difference.”
Role models come into young people’s lives in many different ways.
They are educators, civic leaders, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, clergy,
peers and ordinary people encountered in everyday life.
Exactly as I thought.
I had to look this up because of a point I was trying to
make to a 12-year old - I wanted to make sure I wasn’t being overly aggressive
in defense of what I thought a role model should be. She pointed to a young, popular singer as her
role model because “she wrote a song I like and is very pretty.” I pointed to
her mom who is much prettier, more talented, raised her single-handedly and
sacrificed shit she wanted for stuff her daughter needed.
I mean, c’mon, even I’m impressed. Her
daughter is a great kid – beautiful, smart and talented. She’s just like her
mom, but a smaller version, and I didn’t understand her choice of role model.
Growing up, I didn’t idolize any celebrity as a person I
wanted to be like, even if I admired them and their work as something I would
like to try. As hard as it may be for my
parents to believe, I held them up as the kind of adult I wanted to be one day.
Not in terms of work or looks, but as people.
My parents are good people with a golden set of morals and
values; they gave up things they wanted so we could have what we needed. They weren’t my ‘friends,’ but I knew I could
probably go to them about everything, even if I chose not to most of the time.
I don’t think I fully appreciated my parents and what they
did for us until I had become an adult.
No, I’m not jealous of the rich and famous – the things I
want can’t be bought with money and I don’t want people to think the best part
about me is the way I look on-screen or in a magazine.
When I look at celebrities, I see spoiled humans living a
life of excess: money, fame, vanity and seemingly no morals or traditional
values. I rarely see one thanking their parents more than suing them. True, I
wanted to be an actress growing up, but not for fame as much as getting to be
someone different (that blog coming soon) and maybe the money so I could buy my
mom and dad the camper I always promised them – so they can travel the states
for as many years (and more) as they took care of us kids.
And, I never became an actress ... So … I never bought them that camper. It’s kind of a huge
I.O.U. to have on my shoulders. But, as always, I digress …
My daughter told me I’m her role model (I share that title
with her dad). I remember when she was younger, she had to write a report about
someone she admired the most and she chose me (not her dad). It’s the single,
biggest honor to have your kid point to you, and not a celebrity, the president
or even a teacher as a person they would most like to be and who they look up
to the most. It was at that moment I knew I might be doing something kinda
right.
I’m a lucky mom.
I have a good kid, she makes good grades and she’s not about
the Facebook and Instagram business like most of today’s youths. She’s smart, has manners, makes pretty decent decisions and thinks about others most of the time before
herself. She understands the concept of money and doesn’t really take for
granted that her dad and I would probably break the bank spoiling her just to
one-up the other (in good-natured, split-parental competition, of course).
She’s a beautiful, funny, talented, generous, forgiving, kind-hearted and
humble being … and really mature when it comes to her future and goals.
In other words, she doesn’t wanna be a rockstar, model or
actress (there’s nothing wrong with that)– she wants to go to college and make
a difference in her field of study. Which makes me so proud.
And looking back over the past 15 years – especially the
last two - I suppose she should have been MY role model. She's turning out to be a
much better kid than I am as an adult.
