A festival of Thanks ...

“I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled,” ~ Paula Poundstone

I’m not big on the holidays. They always seemed like more of a stressful hassle than a good time. I know, it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, when everyone thinks about and declares everything they are thankful for on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And in their state of extreme benevolence and happiness, all is forgiven and well wishes are granted to all – especially to all exes and haterz. ß yes, with a ‘z.’

Right? I mean, I did get CCd on all the group text messages, including one from an ex (looking for that small crack to assert himself back in my life – I don’t forgive you, I hope you contract a certain STD and live a long life with it. I’m sorry, that wasn’t very benevolent of me, I didn't mean that … okay, maybe I’m not really sorry …) and others from chicks that wrote me off as a friend because I think I’m a better person, yet still wish me well because it makes them feel like a bigger person.

Well, I never thought that until they ‘unfriended’ me for such a shallow reason. And I would laugh, except I don’t really care. But, I digress.

So, much like I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions (waiting for the new year to improve your life is just a tactic of procrastination), I don’t participate in the once-a-year thank-fest. It’s not because I’m not thankful. It’s not even because I’m not inspired to be more forgiving than I already am most of the time. I know what I have to be thankful for – I am thankful every single day.

For the last two years, I haven’t seen my daughter on a holiday – to include her birthday – because I lived in another state. Getting to wake up Thanksgiving morning to see her grumpy, 15-year old, teenager face, and listening to her complain in her teenager voice about having to wake up so early on a holiday just to eat, was the best part of my day. The second best was spending the day with one of my BFFs (yes, I used an acronym) and being welcome even though I haven’t made the time to visit as often as I should. And the icing on the cake (icing that my friend offered to make just for me showing up) – knowing I’m going to be able to repeat this on Christmas Day and on my daughter’s birthday.

Basically, on any day for as long as I want to, I can make this happen. And for that, I am thankful.

Having unconditional friendships are another reason I’m thankful. You all know who you are – including the aforementioned friend. The ones who can call me out and listen when I do the same and yet are still there when the dust settles and we still don’t agree.

I am also thankful that my parents love me enough to pick up the phone any time I dial them in the future (dorky sci fi joke) and inevitably call too late or wake them up early because I am terrible at math and they are 14 hours ahead of my time. I didn’t visit them enough when they were stateside and can’t wait for them to come back next year, so I can smother them for the first three or four months before they fake their absence from home to create space (they wouldn’t actually do that, FYI).

I am thankful I am in better shape than my middle brother. Just kidding. He’s probably reading this right now. Hi, Matt. Remember when you offered me your paycheck from your job after I moved out at 18? And last year when you bought me the VooDoo Donut-man with the iced heart staked with a pretzel to commemorate me getting dumped? I do. I also remember when you had hair. You know, before you decided to have a crop circle buzzed into the back of your head. (That's what that is, right? It's not a bald spot?)

My little brother makes me thankful every day that he’s around to help me figure stuff out. Like the time, shortly after I purchased a $400 ring flash for my home studio, and he built one for just $40. He KNEW I should know I spent $360 more for something I didn’t actually need and that HE was the one who built it. He’s probably not reading this because he has a life outside the Internet.

But seriously, I have the two best brothers on the planet – they keep it real, won’t let me make excuses and don’t let me get away with crap. I’ve always said it.

And how can I forget my baby niece, who unselfishly gave up her room to me when I went to visit - and left me a welcome note that included permission to use her room? 

I have a great family who, even if we don’t see each other for a long time, always welcome each other when we make time. My kid’s pretty grounded and not into herself and her online presence like a lot of kids (and even some adults) are nowadays (calling myself out, too). And even though I’ve felt like I could die after some of the break-ups I’ve gone through (that I am willing to admit I may have contributed to by being too accommodating and available), I’m still alive.

Speaking of exes, let me give a special shout out to the one who surprised the shit out of me, pulled his head out of his ass and helped me move back home. 

These are all things I’m thankful for everyday. Along with the ability to blog about and over share the explicit details of my life for the amusement and/or entertainment (or even judgment) of others. Like, now. So, you know how I don’t participate in the status posts about being thankful for ‘x’ amount of things? Consider this my contribution – should fill the quota of the social network requirement for thankful posts for the rest of my life.