Tilted Kilt = Irish Hooters

Hooters has a reputation for employing pretty waitresses to wear outfits that accentuate curves and cleavage. When someone goes to Hooters, they go for the view, not the food. Because, let’s be honest, aside from the buffalo shrimp, their menu isn’t really a draw. However, pretty girls in 80s slouch socks, 70s nylon/spandex shorts and super low, cleavage bearing, wife-beater tanks are the new sexy – if you’re a guy with a taste for the disco era. It was a pretty unique market until the Irish decided to one-up them: introducing The Tilted Kilt.

When a friend and I agreed to meet for dinner at The Tilted Kilt, neither one of us had a clue what this restaurant was about. It didn’t take long after being seated to notice the place was filled with a lot of men. There were only a few girls and they seemed to be attached to dudes. My friend and I were definitely the only two girls sitting together at the same table. We soon found out why the place was overrun with testosterone: the waitresses were wearing what can only be described as an outfit I saw at a gentleman’s club once. Lots of skin and cleavage, nothing left to the imagination – and they all had great bodies.

So, now that the mystery of why mostly men were to be found in the establishment was solved, it was time to order our food. I’m not gonna lie, I found it hard to be hungry when there were that many perfect bodies parading around me, including our waitress, making me so much more conscious of the fact that I had not worked out in a very long time. That said, while my friend decided on the healthy chicken club, I ordered a sloppy Jane and fries, all the while taking note of how the waitresses looked like they probably didn’t eat … at all.

It was a little disappointing to find out that the food wasn’t really worth the money. I envisioned the sloppy Jane being much like a Sloppy Joe, and I love me a good Sloppy Joe. But it was more like a steak-um and cheese sandwich with slaw. It was kind of like the first time I ordered wings at Hooters and realized they were no better than anywhere else; it’s just that you get a more interesting view while eating. Which is the same concept at The Tilted Kilt: stun ‘em with skin, keep ‘em coming in. No pun intended, folks.

But even though I did not like the sloppy Jane, the service was quick and courteous enough for me to almost forget how much I did not resemble these young, barely dressed, cleavage-bearing, fantasy girls serving up more than just food and spirits; but not enough to order dessert. So, when our waitress asked if I would like to add a half pound of chocolate flavored cellulite to my bill, I declined with the slightest of once-overs to my less than perfect midsection and asked for the bill. Then I wondered, if she had looked like me, would I have been more inclined to order a treat? Probably not, considering I didn’t really need a reminder of how much cardio and total body sculpting I owed myself.

While The Tilted Kilt took my self-image back down to a manageable level, I made a few mental notes for future reference:

- I need to get an outfit like that.

- This is not a place to take your boyfriend, date or husband – unless you just wanna start a fight.

- My daughter will never work at The Tilted Kilt.

- Or Hooters.

- I need to encourage a restaurant for women where men get to wear a hot outfit. Because when a man offers a chick dessert, we don’t feel like he is calling us fat.

Not that this is in anyway a review of the establishment. The Tilted Kilt is a fine place for men to gather and … be boys. I may not have cared for the food, but I have complicated taste buds. While I seemed to judge the chicks working there … well, I was judging them, but who wouldn’t? Seriously, though, the girls were nice and better than the wait staff at most restaurants. Plus, they looked great in their barely there plaid skirts and bras. If I were a dude, I’d say I found the only restaurant worth hanging out in. But I’m a chick and I can probably tell you I won’t go back.