Memorial WODs: You really can’t quit

So, the boyfriend has started the “leave body” fitness program. That’s when he hits the gym several weeks before he takes leave to look great going home - for the ladies. But I digress.

Anyway, anyway, we were talking about working out today and he tells me he came up with a Memorial WOD for a guy on his team who died earlier this year. He was pretty excited about it.

“No one wants to do it, though, because it’s too hard.”

I’ll do it, muffin, tell me what we’re working with.

Turns out, we were going to be working superhero-style - way more than I was used to.

1000m row

10 HSPU

20 Box jumps

40 Pull Ups

50 WB

70 Push Ups (I hope I interpreted that right)

90 Thrusters

1000m row

That doesn’t sound so bad (translated: famous last words, every time I've underestimated a workout, I've had my ass handed to me).

So, is that for time or can I take my time?

“For time.”

When I left work tonight, I was just going to go for a two-mile run and go home. I ended up at the crossfit gym so I could knock this out. For time. I’ve killed my body over lesser reasons, so having a “cause” was motivating. I've since met the family of the Soldier and it meant more than just a workout for me. Plus, it’s also kind of neat to share something with the boyfriend.

Thankfully, the gym was not that crowded. If there’s one thing that intimidates me, it’s working out in front of other people – by myself. But if I can make random karaoke youtube videos and share them on the interwebs … well, I don’t really have an excuse anymore.

Starting with the row, after about the first 400m, my arms started to protest and my elbows tried to lock. See, I don’t think I’ve done a row except to warm up and it’s pretty easy when you only do it for about two minutes. A thousand meters felt like forever and my arms were numb after. I pushed the handstand push ups after the box jumps. But not before attempting to sub regular push ups so I felt like I was following the workout.

My arms gave out and I plank-smacked my entire body into the floor.

Box jumps are not my favorite, but I have pretty strong legs and powered through those at a decent pace. I don’t understand how the others at the gym can do them so fast, they can’t possibly – actually, I can see they are not opening their hips at the top. Maybe that’s easier. So, about midway, I decided to try to do them as fast as I could. Third one in, my jump was a little shy of the top, my toes caught the edge and almost took out my knee caps when they hit the box. I defaulted back to the correct form I was taught by Master Phil. Screw how everyone else does them.

This is where I really wanted to quit. It’s not like anyone would know, right? I could make up a time and say I did it. Or claim injury. But I couldn’t, I was committed. 

Limping right along …

Handstand pushups are harder than you think. But for whatever reason, I was able to do all ten without falling on my face and breaking my neck. I’m wondering if I did them right. I decided it didn’t matter since I was done with them.

I was doing most of this in the back room at the gym, but for the pull-ups, I needed to go out to the bar. I can’t reach the bar on my own, not even with jumping. So, anytime I’ve done a WOD that includes pull ups, I have to make myself a booster which consists of a 24 inch box and two 10 pound plates – and I still hop. It’s only slightly embarrassing, but not as much as watching me actually do a pull-up. After 40 of those, I decided to swap out the pushups for back squats or I wasn’t going to be able to make it through the wall balls.

One thing I am most proud of is how strong my legs are. However, 70 back squats at 55# set my thighs and ass on fire. So, I pushed the wall balls back to do the thrusters first.

Bar only at 45# after the first 20.

Yes, I took a 20 second break after every 20 thrusters. At this point, I was afraid my arms would give out and I’d drop the bar on my head. Safety first.

Finally, I was on the last exercise – 50 wall balls. The first 25, surprisingly, went smooth. I had hit a zone and was knocking them out. Until I missed a beat in the song I was listening to, caught the ball wrong, and all eight pounds smacked me in the face. I wanted to punch someone and pee at the same time - it hurt. I’ll probably have a black eye. I made it through the next 25 and finished out another 1000m row.

Total time: just proud I finished it.

Kidding, I did it in 59:35.

Maybe there are those who can do it faster, but I’m not about wrecking myself (on purpose) to keep up. Right now, I’m sitting on the floor of the apartment. Not because I’m tired. As a matter of fact, I’m wide awake and hungry. I’d like to go to the kitchen and make some dinner. But I can't. My muscles have informed me that they expelled every bit of energy - plus my reserve - for my workout. So, I’ll probably just lay down right here and go to bed.

By the way: the boyfriend did it in, like, 19 minutes, so I heard. So, now I will try to do it again this weekend to see if I can shave 40 minutes off my time ...