Tonight, I decided to indulge in one of two movies I will be seeing this weekend - "The Change Up." It's not a Family friendly movie, so, folks, if you have kids, don't do as I did by making my 13 year old pull mandatory movie-buddy duty; do as I say and leave your kids at home for date night. There are a lot of swear words, dick jokes, boobies and a very random but necessary pube shaving scene. I knew as soon as the movie started, I wasn't going to be getting any mommy of the year points for this one. However, that doesn't mean the universe wouldn't get me back in some way, shape or form.
This time, it was in the form of an embarrassing wardrobe ... realignment.
So, there I was, racing to the restroom after the movie and a large Root Beer. By the way, my thighs and butt cheeks still hurt from my magic pill aided workout two nights ago so my run was about as graceful as a hunchback living in the towers of Notre Dame. The real one, not the Disney cartoon one. My daughter was in a hurry to get home and back to her Facebook, anime and friends, so I was trying to be fast. Which wasn't a problem. I was out in record time.
We left the theater, walked out to the car which was parked in the back of the parking lot, drove to get gas and then I went to Jack in the Box to cheat on my new lifestyle of healthy eating choices. On the way out, this lady calls out to me:
"Ma'am."
I turn around. "Yes?"
"Your cardigan top is pulled into the back of your pants."
The horror ...
I couldn't even say thank you, I was trying to pull it all out as fast as I could. It wasn't just a small piece of it, either. It was the entire back end. How did I not feel that? I walked all the way through the theater, across the parking lot, pumped gas and walked in and out of Jack in the Box - and not one person said a word. With my newfound pimp-walk, no make-up and my sweater tucked into my pants, maybe they thought I was slightly intoxicated.
And why didn't my daughter say anything?
"I wasn't paying attention, I was talking."
Awesome.
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2 comments:
That happened to me once in high school except I tucked my mini skirt into my fishnet pantyhose. Not only did I have to live the horror of showing off my underwear, I did it while dressed as a punk rock hooker!
Oh no!!! That's awful! I would have probably faked my own death so I wouldn't have to go back after that one.
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