Workin' on my fitness ... take two

Most of my problem with working out has been finding the energy after working an 8-10 hour day to be motivated. When I get home, I would rather do almost anything than work out; that includes clean, cook, organize the receipts and loose change I find in my pants pockets and  domestic duties that I would also blow off if I had anything better to do. But I don't. That's why working out at home is harder than going to the gym. So, my new plan is to get a pre-work workout at the gym - which means waking up to get there before anyone else does. Because the second most annoying feeling in the world is knowing people might be watching you work out.


Unfortunately, 5:30 a.m. isn’t early enough and neither is 4 a.m. Because there is always that one retired sergeant major that gets up at 3 a.m. just to prove to himself that he can still get it. How frustrating. I thought I could run a really slow two miles and wait him out, but I gotta give it to him, he has some stamina. I guesstimated he was on the stationary bike for at least an hour. But I did find a corner to myself so no one would see how uncoordinated and un-graceful I am when I’m lunging, squatting and lifting my way to better abs, chest, back, arms, ass and legs. That sounds a lot more impressive than it looks right now.

One thing that I noticed right away is that when you work out with real weights, and not taped together Campell soup cans, you will actually break a decent sweat. Feeling your muscles burn, having the feeling that you’re making progress … it’s kind of motivating. A lot of the at-home workouts I was doing were modified pilates and crossfit exercises and there’s only so much you can do in the comfort and privacy of a small, apartment sized living room without bothering the downstairs neighbors or kicking furniture. Having a huge gym is awesome. If I could just get people to stay out until I’m done, it would be perfect.

Speaking of, this was also the week that every woman in the building whose New Year’s resolution was to lose weight, decided to start on that. You know who those people are, too. They are the ones who go straight to the treadmill and the elliptical machines because they don’t want anyone watching them try to figure out the rest of the equipment. They should have gotten up at 3 a.m. like the sergeant major.

Fun fact: Wanna see a bunch of dudes at the gym suddenly stop "working out" and walk aimlessly around each piece of equipment between sets while flexing? Be the first mildly attractive chick to walk into the gym - and actually know what she's doing. I could tell he may have been nervous about not looking ‘cool’ while working out. Seriously, though, if you’re a dude, it doesn’t matter what you think you look like when you’re “pumping iron,” it looks like you know what you’re doing to any chick that walks in. Unless you’re the one old guy who was almost swinging from one of the Nordic Trac looking pieces of equipment. I thought he was going to pull vertebrae. I still can’t figure out what he was trying to do by falling to the ground and swinging back up with the weights, body flinging like a gumby.

For now, I guess a 4 a.m. start will probably be good, we’ll see how long that lasts. I had been splitting my workout between mornings and evenings as two 45 minute workouts, trying to avoid people in the gym. But someone passed the memo around that I had a phobia, so now, no matter how late I go, there is always one person who shows up, mid-workout to ruin my flow.

Maybe if there was someone else doing what I was doing, looking just as awkward and ungraceful, I wouldn’t feel so self-conscious when I’m at the gym. Is that why people have work out buddies? So they don’t look stupid all by themselves? Smart.